WTF Friday: vol. 10

In my meanderings amongst the interwebz today, I came across a little blurb about White Castle doing Valentine’s Day dinners. Yep, that White Castle. The one known for suspiciously cheap mini burgers.

“honey, I’ve made reservations for us!”

Apparently, some locations have a whole setup with tableside service, flowers, and candlelight. And honestly? As silly as it sounds, I think it’s kind of cute. After all, if you read yesterday’s post (you DID read it, didn’t you? 😉) you know a big part of my dislike for today stems from the expectations. A low key “let’s get burgers and eat them by candlelight” date actually sounds like it would be fun.

Obviously, it’s not for everyone, if your partner is expecting something fancy, they probably aren’t going to be very happy with White Castle. Having said that, I think it’s a good option for people who are either unable or unwilling to spend an assload of money who still want to mark the occasion somehow.

What do you think Dissy?

Well, I am devastated to hear of this.

Why?

BECAUSE WHITE CASTLE HAS ABANDONED NORTHEAST OHIO!!!

Over on W. 117th street, there are the remains of a White Castle that is the first one I ever visited. Back in the stone age, or, 1980-something or other. It was at least ’85 because some of us in my crew could drive.

One evening, Mark, Danny, and I decided to set out on a road trip to find this White Castle and check out these burgers we had been hearing about. If I’m not mistaken, I’m pretty sure Danny is the one who first heard of it in some rap song.

Teen-aged Dissy.

I’m pretty sure, too, that this was the first time we had all ventured out of the Akron area without a “responsible” person with us. Not that we ever actually had “responsible” people with us.

Anyhow, I digress. Lucky for us that gas was so inexpensive back then because we ended up coming up to the Castle at every opportunity. Two cheeseburgers and an order of deep fried clams is (or would be), to this day, my standard order.

In 1987, they finally brought one to Akron (Cuyahoga Falls, really), and, lucky for me, it was in the same plaza that I worked in. Lunch anyone? For as inexpensive as they were, I sure did spend an ungodly amount of money there.

So, if there was still a White Castle around here, I would beg for a date to take me there for Valentine’s Day. I would rather have White Castle to spark romance than anything fancy or contrived. I’m not sure I could be more in love with this idea if I tried.

I’d say if you want to know whether your love is true or not, you really should take him or her on a White Castle Valentine’s Day date. If they look at you like you’re the lowest piece of shit in the known universe, dump ’em. If they look at you like you are the best thing since the invention of cheese, keep ’em.

Make sure, though, that you hurry home for other types of fun before White Castle works the other kind of magic they are known for…

Cent’anni, Bitches!!