Monday Musings With Dissy: episode 12

Well, we’ve been doing a lot of slacking here lately. Some of it is due to the lack of inspiration. We really don’t get out enough to generate blog fodder. That needs to freaking change with a quickness. Oh. Wait. It can’t just yet.

Some of it, too, is due to sickness. Neither of us have the CV yet, but there is also a ridiculous flu going around and tis the season for allergies.

So… how ’bout that there Coronavirus? Hopefully, you’re all healthy and safe. I’m going to assume you all know the precautions to take, and, if not, well, then quarantine yourself for the safety of the masses because they are more important than you. Why? Because you don’t pay attention. Stop being a baby.

Last night, we got the official word from my employer that we are to start working from home until further notice. That is one thing you absoutely will not hear me complaining about. I’ve always suspected I would be a more productive human being and worker if I was able to work from home. We are about to put that to a test.

Today, so far, I have cleaned my closet room, vacuumed that floor and the floor in my bedroom, I swept and mopped the kitchen floor, tidied up in the kitchen as much as possible until we can get my drain problems handled and I can wash the dishes, I set up my home office, which is in a small alcove off my kitchen (I love this little area here), I walked my doggie, and now I’m ready to spend the next 8 hours telling folks to restart their shit.

Daisy-Lou sniffing everything on the west side of Cleveland.
I love my little work area.

I’m not sure what’s going on in other states, but we’ve also had our governor officially announce that bars and dine-in services at restaurants are shut down until further notice. The part of me that wants to protect others from contracting CV is glad this is happening, and there is another part of me that is concerned with liberties being trodden upon. I posted a rant on facebook about people whining about this and called people bitching about the closures selfish. By and large, I stand by that statement, yet, a small part of me can see their point.

BUT…

Sure, it’s anyone’s choice to go out into the world and interact at his or her whim. It’s my choice to stay home or go out unnecessarily if I want. The problem comes in when we begin to impact other people who are concerned and are following the precautions. And this isn’t as simple as me maybe telling my son to not come over and visit because I know he was out partying the other night.

We all have to continue doing certain things like working and shopping for food. Are you okay with carrying that shit around and infecting others?

Well? Are you?

I always say the world is over-populated, and some of us do simply have to go. That being said, I’m not personally willing to be responsible for that, and I’m not sure I’m okay with my immediate circle being okay with being responsible for the transmission of disease that has and can kill.

The conspiracy theorist in me is literally screaming about martial law, but my logic says something else entirely. I don’t know what to think, and, while I’m not afraid, I am seeing the need for caution. Why don’t you?

Until next time…

Cent’anni, Bitches!

Monday Musings With Dissy: episode 11

There’s definitely something to be said about learning the ways in which we are our own worst enemies. It’s a brand of wisdom we all need in our lives.

There’s also something very empowering about making the decision to end the cycle of bullshit that has seemed to follow you around like some creeper who likes to peep in your windows while you sleep. Except, you realize, you’re the one who invited the shit. And once you have that epiphany, there’s the ultimate… “Hey, I can fix this shit.”

In my recent mental health journey, I’ve mentioned having come to the realization that I tend to figuratively paint myself into corners then get angry because I feel stuck or trapped. Time to get out of that. Time to be pro-active.

I have some things in the works that I don’t want to mention just yet. I want the energy toward it to remain as pure as possible for now, but let me publicly declare, changes are on the horizon.

In my quest to wean myself off of antidepressants, I am down to 1/2 of a 25mg effexor tablet per day. There are still some withdrawl symptoms, but I’d classify them as mild. I’m starting to lose the apathy and the brain fog and the feeling of perpetual hopelessness (hey, isn’t that what happens when you’re depressed? Why am I getting that shit ON an antidepressant?)

Anyhow, I may need them again down the road, and, if I do, I will definitely consult my doctor. For now, I’m excited about once again experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion.

Ain’t it a beautiful thing?

See ya!!

Cent’anni, Bitches!

Monday Musings With Dissy: episode 2

In my quest to learn something new every day, I came across quite a lot of… interesting… information.

In the state of Texas, you do not have to be present at your own wedding.

Yes… You can be married “by proxy” in The Lone Star State.

Mainly, this is for people who, for some reason or other, aren’t able to be present at their nuptials. Specifically, it’s aimed at deployed military personnel or people in prison (*scratches head* let’s not go into what kind of person would want to marry someone in prison. I mean, Ted Bundy got married on death row. I guess there really is hope for everyone), and all you need is a signed, notarized affidavit from the person in question (I guess they’ve never heard of forgery or identity theft).

Can you imagine? You and I very well could be married to someone in Texas. Right now. This second. I hope my Lone Star Spouse is one of those oil gazillionaires and that I’ll get a ginormous check one day because he passed away or it’s some kind of settlement because I was also divorced by proxy.

It makes me wonder, though… Does an actual human being have to stand in for the absent bride or groom? I mean, could my pit bull stand in for me? I’d totally teach her to bark once for “I do” and twice for “go fuck yourself.”

“Sorry, absent groom. I realized that I like this dog better.”

I also learned that there is a law in Texas that states you can be considered legally married to someone by publicly announcing him or her as your spouse. You have to say it three times. Kind of like Beetlejuice, but instead of Michael Keaton in a stripey suit, you get a … hey… wait… can you just walk up to anyone and say “this is my husband, this is my husband, this is my husband,” and it’s a done deed?

I may try this one on for size if I’m single still by the time I get down to Texas.

“I got him on Main Street, near the Subway.”

And, finally, my favorite one.

It would seem there’s an odd 24 hour oral or written notice that all criminals must give their intended victims prior to said crime being committed.

Let that sink in.

Well, I’d better head home now. I’m expecting a burglary in about half an hour. Things will go horribly wrong, and I’ll end up shot in the face. No… No… I told the dude I’d be there. He did send me a letter, after all.”

Does email count? Or could you text them? Do I have to give notice if I intend to retaliate or defend my belongings?

Dear Criminal: I’mma have to say no. I will meet you at the back door with my Smith & Wesson. XOXO ~ Dissy

Also, if the criminal does not hold up his or her end of the bargain, do I have any recourse? What if the written notice did not mention the aforementioned burglar knocking over my goldfish bowl and killing poor Goldie? Can I sue his ass off for pain and suffering? Does he have to pay? I mean, isn’t that letter a legally binding contract?

And with that, I’ll say my good nights. I have to go start training my dog for my wedding. You never know when I might decide to relocate.

This blog is lovingly dedicated to the memory of Jeff Taylor, a lifelong Texan and a fellow Beavis and Butt-Head enthusiast.

Cent’anni, Bitches!