Witchy Wednesday: Take 3

Satan? Who the hell is that?

Today, class, we’re going to talk about misconceptions.

Barb here, we decided this week would be a good time to tackle misconceptions about our faith. One thing I learned quickly as a newbie Witch is how quickly people get weird about it. Like, really weird. Now, I’m totally down with people asking questions, in fact I PREFER IT. Want to know about us? Ask us! Having said that, please remember that you are, in fact, talking to an actual human being, and try to avoid things like:

“You’re a devil worshipper!” – This isn’t even a question, it is issued as a statement, usually very loudly. It is also complete and utter bullshit. There is no devil in the Craft, that particular bit of nastiness is totally the creation of Christianity. Why on Earth would I worship something that doesn’t exist? If you believe the only options in life are people worshipping as you do, or being evil, maybe you need to think about what’s going on in your own life to make you think that way. Just stop yelling at me in the middle of the grocery store.

I mean, they look like fun guys.

“What’s up with all the naked stuff?” – Here’s the deal. Firstly, the term for holding ritual without any clothes is sky-clad. No, I’m not sure why they call it that. Secondly, in my more than two decades on this path, I have not encountered a single person who regularly does this. So, sorry to tell you gross dude, but even if you managed to wrangle an invitation to participate in ritual, there is a zero percent chance it will be a bunch of young, hot, naked chicks running around the woods. Do you want ticks in your squishy bits? Because that’s how you get ticks in your squishy bits.

And finally, yes, my husband and I have been asked if we eat babies. Not as a joke, not someone just goofing around, but in seriousness. I cannot even begin to wrap my head around what has to go wrong in your life for you to think like this. I’m not going to unpack all the layers of ick that go into this question, because if I think too hard about it, I’ll be nauseous the rest of the day. Just know that if you learn that someone has a different religion than you, and your mind immediately jumps to cannibalism, you need therapy. Therapy is a great thing; the world would be a better place if more people went. Definitely go if you think people who are different than you commit acts worthy of a Clive Barker novel.

What bizarre questions/accusations have you dealt with Dissy?

Oh, hey, sorry I’m late.  I had to clean up after my morning breakfast of Roasted Toddler.  I think I finally got the recipe just right.  I’m so glad I got that Insta Pot. (If I must tell you that’s a joke, then you don’t need to be here (“here” being wherever you are, but, specifically, on this blog.))

I’m not sure I ever heard anything particularly bizarre.  Most of what I get is more annoying than anything else.

Let’s see…

Baby eating… pfft… This is not ancient times.  ALL ancient religions have, at one time or other, (yes, YOURS, too) have participated in human sacrifice.  The thing is? Everyone has evolved past that. Period. Stop asking dumb questions.

I’ve spent a ton of my Pagan life as a single gal, and I would regularly get asked by potential suitors, “did you cast a spell on me?”  Oh, come the fuck on!  That, and that alone, was grounds to move a dude to the trash heap. I believe most of us call that a, ummm… “deal breaker.”

So, basically, when you say that to a person, you are telling him or her that the only conceivable way they would ever possibly get your attention is by manipulating the cosmos and interfering with your free will.  Nine out of ten times? That attention is not worth the effort it takes to put into spellcasting.

Look, here’s the skinny on that.  Has anyone ever done that before?  Absolutely.  It always goes with the warning, though, of “be careful what you wish for.” I would like to believe that no self-respecting Witch would ever do such a thing. It’s much better to put a general spell out there (if you absolutely must) to attract love. Most of us want to be liked, loved, valued, and appreciated for who we are and not because we “made” you want us. Bottom line? Get over yourself.

I, too, get the devil worshipping question.  It bothers me to even talk about a “devil” concept.  I believe that words are energy, and whatever we put out there, we have the potential to create, so giving energy to an entity such as a devil? No thanks.  The only acceptable Satan in my world is the one on South Park.  Come on… if you don’t love him, you’re just a dick.

See? He even helps with the dishes.

One amusing thing I was asked before:

I had let my mom borrow my car, and she was coming over to pick me up so I could take her home.  After I dropped her off, I was going to a Samhain ritual/party at a friend’s house.  I had my robe and cloak on a hanger, and I was carrying it out to the car. My mom looks at it and says, “did you have to buy that, or did they give it to you when you signed up?”

Oh… man… so much fun can be had with that question.  Did she think it was like the Girl Scouts?  That could be fun.  I wonder what we’d sell instead of cookies.

Anyhow, like my lovely cohort, I would always prefer to be asked rather than have something nasty assumed or to have insults and accusations hurled at me.  Don’t you always get more flies with honey, anyhow? OOOOh… Honey… maybe I’ll add some of that to my recipe!!

Well, toodles… I’ve gotta go earn a badge in Ouija Board skills.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate.

Cent’anni, Bitches!