WTF Friday: vol. 14

Are you gonna eat that?

You know, I like to think I’m pretty open-minded when it comes to most things, including food. I’ve heard about some bonkers shit, and for the most part I’d be willing to try it. However, I almost threw up when I read this article:

SCIENTISTS DEVELOP BUG BUTTER

Excuse me, they did what now?

Mind you, this is coming from someone who ate a chocolate covered bug once, just because the opportunity presented itself. I can neither confirm nor deny that alcohol was involved. I can, however, confirm that Jay refused to kiss me until I’d brushed my teeth. Twice.

And truthfully? It wasn’t that bad. Not sure if I’d do it again, but it was not as gross as I had anticipated.

I just can’t wrap my head around taking fly larvae, turning it into a paste, and using it to bake cookies. Don’t ask me why it’s different, it just is.

What about you Dissy, are bug biscuits in your future?

Yeah… prior to making any kind of decision, I needed to consult with my dear friend, Google. Here is what I found:

Researchers trying to find a dairy substitute say they extracted grease from insects. They needed just under an ounce of insects to make enough grease, to make the cake. The team says it’s better for the environment than dairy production, which is where most butter comes from. In a quick taste test, they found they could use half butter and half bugs and you can’t really taste the difference.

I tried super hard to take a picture of myself showing my “ewww…” face, but the lighting in my kitchen (we’ve been mandated to work from home. Thank you, coronavirus) makes me look like I’m about 800 trillion years old, and I’m not willing to look like that on the camera just yet.

Anyhow?

ewww…

I was a little relieved to find that it wasn’t a matter of throwing some grubs and roaches in your mortar and pestle, grinding them up, and throwing it in the cookie batter. Somehow, they harvested the “grease” off these bugs (then again… how do you do that?). Still… No. Just… No.

Which one of those scientist idiots thinks this is cake?

This is yet another topic that generates more questions than answers, though, I guess in this day and age, we only really need to be concerned with one:

Is it gluten free?

Furthermore, a phrase like “you really can’t taste the difference,” tells me that you can, in fact, taste a HUGE difference. It’s like saying there’s no difference between Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb. (don’t fight me on this, you will lose) or between pizza crust and that shit-paste people make out of cauliflower. There’s ALWAYS a discernable difference in taste. Stop lying to us, science people. Now.

So, there you have it. What will we come up with next week?

Only one way to find out!

Cent’anni, Bitches!