What, Me Worry?

Yesterday, I got two very unsettling pieces of information.

First, there was the robocall from the superintendent of Girl Child and Best Friend’s school district. Keep in mind, these schools do not close. Ever. We had a winter storm that dumped almost a foot of snow and the temperature dropped down to single digits. School was in session like normal, every day.

Girl Child and I actually joked yesterday morning that the superintendent would keep the schools open even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, so take a guess how I felt when that call came, telling me the schools will be closed tomorrow in order to deep clean all the buildings and get a plan in place for dealing with COVID-19.

Then came the memo at work.

Now, I genuinely like my job. For the most part everyone I work with/for is great. Having said that, we have one top level executive who isn’t exactly known for being warm and fuzzy. This person is more the “tough love” type, except without the “love”.

But hey, I’m not the one responsible for running an entire company, so what do I know, right?

The beginning of the memo was advising all employees that if anyone tests positive, the company is going to pay them in full for the two weeks of recovery and quarantine, and then there was the form we all had to fill out. What kind of internet access do you have at home? Do you have a PC? Turns out, my little company is buying equipment for the very real possibility that we may have to go totally remote for an undetermined period of time.

I like to think I’ve been appropriately cautious up until now. I don’t need to be told to clean my house, wash my hands, and don’t cough on people, because I’m not a toddler. So, little more hand sanitizer, avoid anyone who looks sick, and I should be golden, right? Seeing that person’s name on a memo, spelling out how the company is making plans out of concern for our health and safety, was, however, a shock to the system.

I’ll admit, my first thought was, “Holy shit we’re all gonna die!” Which isn’t exactly rational, but well in keeping with who I am as a person, in case you haven’t noticed. My second thought was, “Calm the fuck down you goddamn lunatic.” Also very me. Because reasons.

For now, I’m going to keep living my life.

The kids will go to school, Jay and I will go to work, grocery shopping Saturday morning and yoga with Dissy at the ass crack of dawn Sunday. I don’t know what’s coming, no one really does.

Stop stockpiling pallets of toilet paper like you plan on shitting twice your body weight twice a day.

No you can’t make your own hand sanitizer from most booze.

And for the love of the gods…

Wash your fucking hands.

Cent’anni, Bitches!

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