There’s definitely something to be said about learning the ways in which we are our own worst enemies. It’s a brand of wisdom we all need in our lives.
There’s also something very empowering about making the decision to end the cycle of bullshit that has seemed to follow you around like some creeper who likes to peep in your windows while you sleep. Except, you realize, you’re the one who invited the shit. And once you have that epiphany, there’s the ultimate… “Hey, I can fix this shit.”
In my recent mental health journey, I’ve mentioned having come to the realization that I tend to figuratively paint myself into corners then get angry because I feel stuck or trapped. Time to get out of that. Time to be pro-active.
I have some things in the works that I don’t want to mention just yet. I want the energy toward it to remain as pure as possible for now, but let me publicly declare, changes are on the horizon.
In my quest to wean myself off of antidepressants, I am down to 1/2 of a 25mg effexor tablet per day. There are still some withdrawl symptoms, but I’d classify them as mild. I’m starting to lose the apathy and the brain fog and the feeling of perpetual hopelessness (hey, isn’t that what happens when you’re depressed? Why am I getting that shit ON an antidepressant?)
Anyhow, I may need them again down the road, and, if I do, I will definitely consult my doctor. For now, I’m excited about once again experiencing the full spectrum of human emotion.
Ain’t it a beautiful thing?