Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
-Haruki Murakami or the Buddha
(depending on which Google entry you’d like to believe)
This morning, I was excited to look at the weather app on my phone and see the temperature outside. I wanted to take Daisy-Lou to the park and go for a walk, but by the time we got downstairs and she went out for her first tinkle break, it was already raining.
I should have known. I felt it in my hands, wrists, and shoulder. I used to laugh when old people said that, but now I have to suck it up and accept that this is reality now.
Once I get up and moving, it eases up some. I have exercises I can do to limber up. Tylenol still helps. Yoga is helping with the stiffness in my shoulder, and, hey, maybe one day I’ll go have some hot dude give me a massage. If worse comes to worse, there’s always vodka. That’s a joke, of course. I have no intention of becoming a lush.
I’ve been in a bit of a state, here lately, as I seriously ponder what I want to do with my life. I seem to have this habit of figuratively painting myself into corners, and, while I’m glad that I’m beginning to recognize this habit, it’s also making me angry to realize it. Why would I do this? All it ever accomplishes is making me feel stuck and helpless. When that feeling sets in, it makes me want to run off to the farthest reaches of the universe and forget everything. Maybe if I worked on not “painting myself in,” less complicated changes would suffice.
Don’t take that paragraph the wrong way. The fact that I’m learning and discovering these things about myself is positive and important.
I’m not sure, entirely, about all this pain, be it literal or figurative. What I do choose, however, is to not suffer. Smile, face it, do it, make it better, or fucking change it. Bam.
Have a great week!