Monday Musings With Dissy: episode 8

I felt like having some fun today, and I also felt like we have picked on Florida and Texas a lot, so I decided to pick on our home state. The Buckeye State, or, Ohio for you folks not in the know.

Shut up. It’s funny.

Let’s start with some dumb laws:

1. In Ohio, it is against the law to fish for whales on Sunday (any other day of the week is fine).
Has anyone paid attention to the fact that the only major waterways we have are lakes and rivers? Has anyone paid attention to the fact that whales do not frequent these areas? And I’m supposed to believe that lawmakers have my best interest at heart? Was someone trying to break in to Sea World to fish for Shamu? Can’t you just imagine that?

2. It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
Shit… They may want to talk to some or all of my exes. Someone may want to shame them for vaguebooking… or is that “vaguelawing?”

3. In Toledo, it is illegal to throw a snake at anyone.
oooooookay… I mean, I like to consider myself a reasonable person, and I don’t think reasonable people throw snakes, but I could be wrong.

Officer… he came of his own free will. No one threw him. I swear!!

Did you know that the Cleveland Browns have arguably got the most loyal fan base in all of the NFL? I always tell people The Browns are the perfect team for female fans. They teach us to keep our expectations low.

Did you know that, this week alone, we have had all 4 seasons and that’s why we are all sick?

Did you know that LeBron James was born in Akron and is still very involved in the community even though he’s a Laker now? That makes him a good dude in my eyes.

Our serial killer claim to fame is Jeffrey Dahmer.

Still… I want to know who is out there whale fishing in OHIO.

Cent’anni, Bitches!

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