Barb here. I’m currently sitting at work unable to get anything accomplished because our server has crashed. So here I am, writing this out and listening to an episode of Homicide Hunter.
It fascinates me just how intensely uncomfortable I get in situations like this. Most people would sit back, enjoy the down time, and wait to see how long it takes to get fixed. For whatever reason, I can’t seem to do that. I’m sitting here right now, thinking about what I’m supposed to be doing, and I’m not entirely sure what to do with myself.
I suppose that’s a metaphor for my entire life. I spend so much time wrapped up in endless to-do lists, so when I am presented with an opportunity to chill for a little bit, I have no idea how to do it.
My therapist and I were talking at my last session about my paid vacation time at work, and how I use almost all of it each year on doctor appointments for my family. He asked me the question, “Let’s say you had all your time off to yourself. No obligations, no responsibilities, just an entire month to do whatever you want. What would you do?”
I had no answer for him.
The truth of the matter is, I’ve never even let myself think about it. The idea of taking time off just for some me time is about as comprehensible as moving to the moon.
Hopefully, although I have a lot of work to do on myself, I’m getting there. Also, we were just told to go ahead and take lunch, so I’m going to go eat now.
Until Next Time….