Getting to Know Your Assholes.

Hi there! My name is Christina, but I’d prefer you call me Dissy. We’ll go into why that’s my nickname another time, but I’ll bet you will never guess why I am called “Dissy.” Hint: It’s not nearly as sinister as your head is making it. I live on the west side of Cleveland with my Pit Bull, Daisy-Lou (check out her facebook page, she is awesome @crazydaisy36). For money, I spend all day telling people to restart their computers. It’s not my favorite thing, but it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever done. Besides, the insurance is phenomenal. But… if we make this venture as big as we are wanting to, maybe I won’t have to do that anymore.

I met my fellow asshole at the cemetery, of all places. I was there on a ghost walk with some friends, and this lady came walking down the trail leading to the cemetery. She knew the leader of our group, and we all started talking. She decided to join us, and we spent most of the trip chatting like two long lost besties. I knew we were meant to be. As friends. She told me her name (Barb), and she told me to look her up on the facety-space. I went home and tried to do just that, but, imagine my chagrin when I discovered that my new best friend had her facebook locked up tighter than a whale’s asshole (are those tight? It sounds like they would be, so we’ll go with that). Anyhow… I couldn’t find her!!

Months later (maybe more like a year), I went to a potluck dinner at our friends’ metaphysical shop. I went up to say hi to this man named Jason I had seen there from time to time. “Hey, how’s it going? Come meet my wife, Barb.”

“OH MY GOD!!! IT’S YOU!!” we screamed in unison. The rest goes down in the annals of history. Or the asshole hall of fame, as I like to refer to it.

We are hoping to launch this blog in a HUGE way, we are hoping to create a weekly podcast and, eventually, a youtube channel by doing what we do best. You guessed it… by being assholes.

Now, let me have Barb introduce herself.

Well that’s one hell of a thing to have to follow up! I’m Barb (you probably figured that much out already) and I live in one of the Eastern suburbs of Cleveland with my husband, the aforementioned Jason, my teenage daughter, and my father in law. We live in the house my husband and his siblings were raised in. It’s an old farmhouse, best guesstimate by professionals is it was built around 1860.

Jobwise, I spend my days reading other people’s emails and making sure they don’t say something incredibly stupid to get our company in trouble. I’ve been there close to a decade, and it’s not terrible as jobs go, but I wouldn’t be mad if i were suddenly rich and famous so I didn’t have to work anymore.

One of my greatest joys in life has been finding someone I can truly be myself around, with no censoring or sugarcoating. Just a couple assholes, trucking along living our best lives and hoping you’ll want to come along for the ride.

Dissy here again… We have some plans here… For the blog.

I will fly solo on Monday, Barb will fly solo on Thursday.

Tandem Tuesday is going to be fun. One of the things I miss about a blogging environment are tandem stories. Basically, one week, I’m going to write a segment, and the next week, Barb will continue the story. Back and forth we go until one of us either taps out or we come up with the next great American pile of horse shit that someone buys and publishes.

Witchy Wednesday will be all about witchy stuff.

WTF Friday will be a melange of shit that just makes you wonder how some folks function without drowning in their own drool.

We take Saturday off. Because we don’t go to church.

Please hit subscribe if we sound like your kind of gals, if you’re even a little bit of an asshole, or if you just want to troll us and tell us what shitty human beings we are. Trust us… we know.

Cent’anni, bitches.

1 thought on “Getting to Know Your Assholes.”

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